Write about Grief and Loss - Thursday - Finding Comfort in Grief
Things that bring comfort
I spent at least the first eight months of my own grief mostly feeling desolate and filled with anger at the unfairness of life and struggling with my loneliness. I think it's fine to write about these things but one of the things that I found helpful (and continue to find helpful) was to also write about the fact that I had known great love and to try to keep that feeling of love with me.
There were also times when I felt like the universe loved me and I felt that there were regularly signs that Paul, my partner, was still around. It’s something that’s strange to talk about in our culture because a lot of people don’t believe in spiritual things but I was constantly finding pennies and feathers and hearts in pebbles, clouds and frying pans. I didn’t really know what to make of it but it gave me a feeling that there’s more to life than we can understand and that I was part of a bigger and more comforting picture.
So, today, it’s all about love and comfort.
As we all know, when someone dies, the love doesn't die with them. Our love for them goes on and, if we reach out for it, I believe we can still feel their love for us. Let's think about what that means to us this week. How does the love that you shared with your partner sustain you still in your darkest times?
Try this:
Have you experienced any signs that your loved one is still looking out for you or that there’s something mysterious going on? Strange synchronicities, feathers, people who appear at the right time. Write about some of those
Here’s a piece about that experience for me
You might choose to write a love poem or a love letter to your partner letting them know how much they are loved and missed or thanking them for the love that you shared.
Or perhaps you might like to let your imagination take flight and picture a scene where your partner reappears for one more day or evening. What would you do if you could have your partner back for one night? What would you say to them?
If you can, I'd also like you to have a go at writing to yourself from the point of view of your partner. What would they say to you now? What words of encouragement would they give you? How would they look after you in your grief? (It can be hard to do but go with it. I have found it incredibly powerful to feel the love and support of my partner through writing in his voice in this way.) There are a couple of examples of this from my own writing here in case that helps
https://griefwriting.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/day-23-how-would-you-love-me-in-this.html
https://griefwriting.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/day-22-other-side.html
If none of these options appeal, perhaps you might like to start with the opening line 'Because you love me...' and see where it takes you. How are you transformed by the experience of having your loved one in your life and how you can honour that as you move forwards?
Here’s what I wrote:
https://griefwriting.blogspot.com/2016/05/day-28-because-you-love-me-shape-of-me.html
Phone in and tell Paulette about it or email paulette@bbc.co.uk with your writing.