Write about Grief and Loss - Monday - The things they left behind.
The things they left behind - Writing about objects
In loss, I find objects take on a new symbolism. They come to represent the people who have gone and they remind us of the love we shared. In the weeks, months and years following a loss, we have a lot of decisions to make about which things to keep and which things to let go, about which things are significant and which things unnecessary. We agonise over what to do with clothes, ashes, wedding rings. All of it, I feel, is part of a process of trying to make sense of what has happened.
Sometimes the things people leave behind are beautiful reminders of their uniquely wonderful selves or of our uniquely wonderful relationship with them. Some things can even feel like messages from beyond the grave. I know I've had a few of those.
Other times, we might find things that we wish we hadn't seen and have to deal with things that we know our loved ones would rather we hadn't had to deal with.
Here’s something I wrote about the process of moing house after loss
https://griefwriting.blogspot.com/2016/09/letting-go.html
As I packed up my old house and my mum's house this month, I have been forced to think a lot about letting go. I have sat in both houses weighing objects like snowglobes, looking at days and years gone by through the mist, wondering what I should keep, what to relinquish. I have sifted through love letters from the ghosts of boyfriends past, stared at wedding photos from marriages now dissolved, packaged up the remnants of my grandparents' lives in tissue paper. I had already moved my precious mementos of our time together to the new house and eventually, only your toothbrush remained still sitting in the cup on the washbasin. I wasn't sure if I could leave this mundane reminder of the life you lived behind or if I should bring it with me into my new life. What would a new partner say if he saw your toothbrush sitting there? Could there ever be a new partner after you? Can you really love someone new when you still love someone who died? As I pondered these questions I looked up and saw my stickers still clinging to the wall of my old study - an image by Banksy of a girl watching a heart float like a balloon into the sky. When you love someone so much, how can you ever let them go? And did I know, when I bought it, that this would be my story?
Try this
Write about your own process of sorting through a loved one’s things or about the things you kept or let go of. How did you make those decisions? What was the process like? What did you discover. (Just keep the pen moving and see what comes out).
Write about one of the items you kept that is most precious to you. Or about something that’s been handed down that reminds you of your loved one. What memories does it evoke? Why is it special.