The Write Mindset
Many people have an idea of what a writer’s life looks like and, if you spend your time on Instagram (instead of writing), you might be forgiven for believing that a writer’s life is all beautiful desks, fluffy companions, book launches and parties, leather-bound notebooks in cafes and time spent wandering lonely as a cloud seeking inspiration from daffodils and reservoirs, maybe including a quick jog or a cold-water swim for good measure. All of these stereotypes are valid and true. Personally, I like a desk, a pretty notebook and a cold water swim as much as anyone. But what of the words? If you have the right amount of coffee and the correct balance of sunshine and solitude, do they just flow?
The truth is, though it might look beautiful on social media, the average writer’s life can be lonely and hard. That’s why I do what I do as a writing coach and why I founded The Writers Workshop so that writers feel companioned on their journey. It’s also why I run Monday Motivation - a chance for writers to connect with one another to share their successes and struggles. There are many struggles. And, in my experience, very few of the struggles are about the actual words on the page.
Recently, I asked my Monday morning group about the things they found hard about writing. It wasn’t plot structure, narrative point of view, rhyme schemes or grammar (though these can feature). It wasn’t even difficulties coming up with ideas. The list we co-created was much more abstract. It included the following: rejection, comparison with other writers, reaching audiences, fear of vulnerability and exposure, fear of failure, prioritising, overwhelm, lack of focus, making time, finishing things, sending things off, dealing with negative feedback, self-doubt. Sometimes, it seems to me that the main work of the writer is to vanquish self-doubt.
There are also logistical issues about time and space but you don’t need to train as a life coach to see that these can easily be fixed with some basic time management and organisational skills. In fact, being a writer should be a simple process that looks like this:
Decide what to write about
Set a writing routine and a space to write and get on with it
Write
Edit and finish
Send work out
Be accepted - yay! Or be rejected - boo!
Repeat
The problem, I’ve observed, is that our own heads constantly get in the way. You can’t decide what to write about if you don’t believe you have something worth saying. You can’t give time to writing if you don’t think it’s a valuable way to spend your time. You won’t finish anything or send anything out for publication if you’re scared to receive feedback or afraid of exposure or worried what other people might think. In my view, you won’t write your best work if you don’t bring your authentic self and your vulnerability to the page. And, once you’ve been rejected (and you will be), it’s even harder to get started again. In fact, it’s a viscious cycle and there’s no wonder writers suffer from overwhelm. There are so many books in the world and the odds of success are stacked against us. It’s very easy to give up on something that there’s no external validation for (and there can’t be external validation if we don’t share it - and so we go round the viscious cycle again).
So, what’s the answer?
The answer is that, as writers, we have to work hard on developing a positive and resilient mindset. We need to prioritise writing even when no-one else thinks it’s valuable and we need to protect our time. We need to set goals and routines and celebrate our own successes. We need to challenge our negative thoughts and beliefs and the scarcity mindset that tells us there is only so much success to go around. We need to embrace failure and feedback, grow and learn from our mistakes, see challenges and opportunities instead of risks. All of which is why, at the same time as being a pursuit full of beauty and privilege, writing is one of the hardest things emotionally. It’s an especially hard thing to do alone. We need other people to cheer us on and pick us up when we fall, other people who share our struggles. We need a room of our own perhaps but, more importantly, we need a room that we share with others, like The Writers Workshop or my Zoom room on a Monday. Most importantly we need to tell ourselves that we can do it until we believe it.
